This piece is taken from a post I wrote a few years ago. I thought it was appropriate for today. Today marks 16 years ago that my Mother was taken from this life in a car accident. I hope it helps you in some way on your journey. This is me, the Trent you know....
We are all on a journey of some
sort. Our paths are very diverse in
nature; no path is identical to the other, yet we share experiences in so many
ways. The ability to share our experiences with others regardless of our ‘type’
of path is a blessing. When we learn to look at the paths of others with love
and appreciation, we grow closer as a society. Sharing the journey is essential
to life and its many seasons.
The expression of my particular
journey is one of many movements. These
movements have occurred over the expanse of many years. They are made up of
many twists and turns, ups and downs, which have shaped me into who I am
today. I have learned how to process
these many movements over the years. There are some various practices that have
been tools for me in the midst of the journey.
Some of them I have weeded out and some I have tended to and watched
them flourish into my daily life.
I would like to share a few of them
with you in this moment of sharing the journey. These have taken years to
develop and have been tried through failure, beginning again, success, joy,
sadness, grief, life, death, darkness, light, and many other rhythms of life. These
three have stood the test of time and fire. They have proved to be a fabric of
my being on a daily basis. The strength that comes from Christ through these
daily practices is what has carried me through the seasons.
Silence
“For God alone my soul waits in
silence; from him comes my salvation.”
(Psalm 62:1, NRSV)
The thought of silence used to create great amounts of fear
within me. I struggled with anxiety and depression in my early adult years. The
thought of being in silence and alone was horror to me. I began to practice
moments of silence in my day when I finally faced the fear and overcame
it. It took facing the fear repeatedly
at night, that seemed to be when I had no choice but to face it, that I began
to see its value. God began to show up
or is it that I began to actually listen instead of begging God to take it
away? Silence became the very thing that I needed in order to move forward from
the inner struggles. The very thing that I begged for peace from became one of
the life sources for my walk with God.
Silence is now a part of my life and my daily routine. Silence
is nothing to be afraid of, walk into it and you will see. It is still difficult to explain, it is
almost as if my fear of silence was triggering my inner problems. The inner struggles
want a way out; they often find their way out by other means. Sometimes they
are expressed in negative ways toward ourselves and those we care about.
Silence is a healthy path for our personal struggles to travel through. God
comes in when we allow him to work and fills the void with his relentless love
and mercy.
Sacred
Reading
As I have traveled through the rugged terrain of life here on
earth, another valuable practice for my journey has been sacred reading. The
reading of scripture is at the top of this one. The value and nutrition that
comes from my daily readings of Psalms and the Gospels is unexplainable. I read
continuously through much of the Jewish Bible and the Christian Bible (Old and
New Testaments). The strength that comes from my times in silence will often
flow over into my sacred reading time.
The texts that I read will take me into silent reflection and meditation
from time to time. It varies from day to day; sometimes it is dry, empty,
frustrating, or meaningless to me. The periods of desolation are often self
inflicted or portrayed from the way I have allowed myself to be impacted by the
actions of others. That is why the re-centering time in silence is so
important. We all need to be re-centered; life just throws us off track once in
a while.
I will also spend great amounts of time reading various other
sacred texts from the patristic era of Christian history. The Monastics and the
Saints tend to be my frequently visited authors. I find peace and connection to
many of them, I know, it is hard to describe, but the connection is there. They
expressively describe their lives as they lived through the fires of history. They
also have spent much time in the scriptures and you can see that clearly in
many of their writings. I find my self in their writings versus many of the
modern evangelical texts of today. While I read a broad genre in today’s world
of literature, I retreat to scripture and patristic writings often.
Solitude
“In
the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted
place, and there he prayed.” (Mark 1:35,
NRSV)
The practice of solitude is often
confused with silence. While both have similarities, they are different in
nature. Most places of solitude are indeed silent places. Silence often happens
in solitude moments. Solitude is time spent alone with you and God. God is there, whether we know it or not, he
is there. It mostly involves the absence of others. Silence can be a state of
mind in the midst of chaos. Solitude is a more secluded practice in nature. While
my life consists of many people through most of the day, solitude is a practice
that I try to participate in often. Life is people; life is made up of our
journeys with others. People are a part of the meaning of our lives. A healthy
balance in life involves the practice of breaking away for time with yourself
and God. When it is time to return to the social scene, you will be better
prepared for the circumstances ahead. Solitude is not for everyone, but it is a
healthy practice for daily life.
My prayer today is that my journey with these three practices
has encouraged you in some way. We are all on diverse paths in our lives and we
need one another. Sharing the journey is vital to the good and growth of any
society of people. When people come together in the purpose of sharing, the
negatives and differences are often set aside. May God bless all of you as you
travel your paths with passion and expression in the day ahead. I am very thankful and it has been an honor
to share a part of my journey with you.
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