Monday, January 9, 2017

My Invisible Life..




We all have seasons of doubt and times when we are in the 'wilderness' of our lives.

When I was running from what I was called to do in my life, I worked as a janitor in Lazbuddie, TX for about 6 months back in 2004 (I think). I worked Monday thru Friday 7am-4pm and 8am-12noon on Saturdays. I learned lot about myself, people, and life in general. I was 'invisible' and worked a lot while the building was empty, so God and I talked a lot.  My breaks were spent hidden in a closet in between rooms or underneath the bleachers of the gymnasium. Nobody knew where I was and no one was ever looking for me except for the Superintendent or the Principal. Once in a while someone would call upon me to clean up a mess or to 'attempt' to fix something. I was invisible, but I was fine with it as well. 

My invisible life was my wilderness and I was fine with it. 

As I walked the endless halls with the dust mop,  I would just talk to God and ponder my purpose in life. Some days,  I would drive God crazy with my questions and on other days, I was silent. It was a different silence, a real darkness, not one of evil, but rather one of just simply nothing. I had nothing, was nothing, and wasn't going anywhere. I was invisible and that was fine with me.

There was somewhere that I was not invisible, I was wanted, loved, and accepted. We lived with Marlana's parents during this time of our lives. We only had Timothy, who was around 1-2 years old. Marlana had a small tax service she worked for out of the house. So, it worked, we did it, and we grew as a family with the three of us and her caring parents. We were just two doors down from the school, so I was able to go home for lunch daily. It was convenient and nice to see them often. 

My invisible life taught me about God,  it taught me to listen to God, and to wait on God. 

Timothy thought I was awesome and loved to run the halls of the school with me often while I swept them repeatedly.  He taught me to take pride in who I was becoming at the time. Marlana supported me everyday and showed me what it meant to be faithful to those who mean the most to you through all the seasons of life. God taught me to just be, I couldn't go anywhere or do anything different at the time. My choices to run from my calling had put me into the situation I was in at the current time.

My invisible life taught me how to love, live, and trust in God.  

My Invisible life....I will not forget...ever!

Trent










5 comments:

  1. Trent,
    Thanks for posting. The season I'm in now, I thought God was bringing me out of "hiding." Again, His thoughts proved so much higher than mine! I continue to listen, learn about myself and others. I thought I knew brokenness, still do not comprehend the depths of grief, pain, injustice, abuse. God continues to remain faithful, the same, and loving. I will never forget this season. He's changing me from the inside out, for His purpose, His kingdom. It totally doesn't look like my vision of what my destiny would look like. The take-away? Everything belongs to God, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. The only thing I have control of is my continual surrender to Him, at Jesus' feet. Thank You Father for seasons of invisibility, may it give You glory.

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    1. Very welcome Sister! Thanks for sharing your heart and your journey. It takes time and patience with ourselves and with God. Praying for your family and I will always remember the love expressed by your family to ours.
      Trent

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  2. Trent, this self reflection is brilliant and it causes me to consider the ways we may all feel invisible at times ... but during those times we are certainly not alone. Love you.

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement brother! Yes, we have all been there before.
      Love and appreciate you!

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